It can be hard to lose someone you love, but it's just weird sometimes to lose A FB friend that you hardly knew

 It can be hard to lose someone you love, but it's just weird sometimes to lose A FB friend that you hardly knew but briefly shared so much with. In the pain of separating from someone that I really did love, and for a long time...I temporarily lost all interest in sex...so when those feelings returned, in the midst of an online chat with a friend, I savored the moment. The initial hit was so delicious, I wanted more, but soon discovered that more was less. I the more I "saw" of him, and he saw of me as we progressed to Skype and video chat, the less we connected in that raw sensual place. He wanted more and more visual stimulation to take him to that place... and I become more and more  - BORED. For me cyber sex is like going to a restaurant when you're hungry, and then just watching a movie about food. It doesn't satisfy. Not me anyway. Cyber love, and being a cyber love goddess/whore obviously doesn't appeal to me as much as it does to me as it does to some people. The fantasy world of online relationships, is probably a lot easier to maintain than anything real in "this" world. Some people appear to be experts at seductive poses, and creating seductive online selves that bare little resemblance to the person you meet in the flesh. Even I, yes I -  have been known to fall victim to my own photography. A flick of a switch and a bit of kindly arranged lighting, and ten years can be shaved off instantly and captured in video or even better, in a still shot. Tweek the angles to enhance even more...
 It's fun once, at least for me, but not long after the first time, I'm looking for excuses to get out of that game of "tell me I'm beautiful and I'll tell you, you are too".There comes a time when I would rather have a great discussion with someone really passionate about just about anything other than sex. Rahn needed his visual senses stimulated, I need my brain cells to be stimulated, at least some of the time, to feel sexy. I need my fun cells zapped occasionally too. The visual thing is sometimes too this world real for me. I need escape, a bit of internal stimulation of the imagination. Something (anything) happening on the inner realms.....
 So I tried a bit of "real" love today - and that was equally confusing. Anyway, am feeling tired, a bit boring...maybe time to go to bed and come back to this later.