Lost in Inner Space

I

 Cut gluten out of my diet a couple of days ago. Living on a budget has meant $2 pies and bread. Today I had that familiar feeling of not being able to move, not being able to talk - for most of the day. I hope  it's just the gluten coming out of my brain, and that the also familiar feeling of gluten free clarity will return in a day or two. So much I wanted to write about, all vanishing as my fingers meet the keys. I'm in the $1/hr internet cafe at the top of Queen St. My brain hurts.It's good though to know I've still got one, sometimes I wonder?? I long to escape back into the dream world of my paintings... Become lost permanently in inner space. The guy next to me is looking at photos of girls, another way to get lost, I guess. I like to get lost in color and fantasy. Like a kid, I paint a world that isn't real enough to get confused with this one. But sometimes, to me that world feels more real and more comforting than the "real" places I often find myself. The inner world is where the magic is, where rules and boundaries of the outer world disappear.I can find that world here too, looking at a beautiful tree, or playing with a kitten, or watching the waves wash up on a remote shoreline, I need that sense of magic like some people need alchohol. I remind myself to find space for magic every day. It's been too long...